Bullying In Colleges Goes Viral

Tuesday March 5, 2013, a video of senior students bullying their juniors at the Universiti Teknologi Mara (UiTM) Sabah campus has gone viral. The five-minute video recording shows several students standing in line in a jungle while being shouted at and occasionally slapped by older students.

The follow-up action by campus YDP

What is bully?

Bullying may be defined as the activity of repeated, aggressive behavior intended to hurt another person, physically or mentally. Bullying is characterized by an individual behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person.

Norwegian researcher Dan Olweus says bullying occurs when a person is:

"Exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons'. He says negative actions occur 'when a person intentionally inflicts injury or discomfort upon another person, through physical contact, through words or in other ways."

School bullying

School bullying is a type of bullying in which occurs during the time period a child is in school. Bullying can be physical, verbal, or emotional.

There is some research suggesting that a significant portion of "normal" school children may not evaluate school-based violence (student-on-studentvictimization) as negatively or as being unacceptable as much as adults generally do, and may even derive enjoyment from it, and they may thus not see a reason to prevent it, if it brings them joy on some level.Both males and females have differently toll on how they bully their victims. Men/boys usually bully other boys in physical ways like pushing, punching, and aggression, whereas females are more likely to spread rumors, talk bad about the person, etc. Although they are different ways in which boys and girls do bullying a lot of the ways may be similar as well, and they both can be bullied or be the bullies.

Bullying can also be perpetrated by teachers and the school system itself. There is an inherent power differential in the system that can easily predispose to subtle or covert abuse (relational aggression or passive aggression), humiliation, or exclusion — even while maintaining overt commitments to anti-bullying policies.

Types of school bullying :-

Verbal Bullying

Can leave children feeling angry, frightened and powerless, if children are unable to share their feelings with someone else it can leave them emotionally bruised and exhausted. Their powers of concentration can suffer, adversely affecting their capacity for learning. Verbal attacks can be of a highly personal and sexual nature. They can be directed at the child's family, culture, race or religion. Malicious rumours are particularly insidious forms of verbal bullying.

Physical Bullying

Often written off as "horseplay", "pretend" or "just a game" when challenged. While children can and do play roughly, in the case of bullying be aware that these 'games' can be a precursor to vicious physical assaults. Both boys and girls indulge in physical bullying, boys perhaps more so as they have a greater tendency towards physical aggression.

Gesture Bullying

There are many different forms of non-verbal threatening gestures which can convey intimidatory and frightening messages, i.e. The state or look which accompanies bullying behaviour. 

Exclusion Bullying

Particularly hurtful because it isolates the child from his/her peer group and is very hard for the child to combat as it directly attacks their self confidence/self image.

Extortion Bullying

Young children are particularly vulnerable to extortion bullying. Demands for money, possessions or equipment, lunch vouchers or food may be made, often accompanied by threats. Children may also be dared or forced to steal from the school leaving them (at the mercy of the bully) open to further intimidation.

E-bullying

An ever more technologically advanced world, a new strain of bullying has emerged amongst children, which utilises web pages, emails and text messaging to abuse, intimidate and attack others, either directly or indirectly i.e. rumour mongering.

Short-term and long-term effects
Short-term:

• depression
• suicide (bullycide) Many feel unwanted in life and that they should not live
• anxiety
• anger
• significant drop in school performance
• Feeling as if their life has fallen apart
• Excessive stress

Long-term:

• abiding feelings of insecurity
• lack of trust
• extreme sensitivity (hypervigilance)
• mental illness such as psychopathy
• Vengeance

          In short, pulling your bully aside one on one and asking them if there was anything you did to upset them can be very helpful. Often times, bullies are dealing with things outside of class that they may be reflecting on other people. If you seem like a suitable target for them, they’ll pick on you to make themselves feel better. More than likely, your bully will only be acting out in front of other people but not when it’s just you and them. This may just be because they want to show everyone else that they are strong or un-breakable. Clearing any miscommuncations with your bully may allow you to understand them a bit better and not take the things they say or do so personally. You may even see that they could use someone to talk to and make a friend out of them! Keep in mind that everyone in college has to leave home and start fresh in a new place. Your bully may just be feeling alone or uncomfortable and need a friend to cheer them up. Stop looking at your bully as “the bully” and start trying to see them as a friend. You could find out that they’re really a great person after all.

Tips To Manage Stress

You can’t rid stress from your life completely, but you can reduce it. Know that it takes some effort because you may have to make changes in your attitude and lifestyle. Reducing stress requires that you know how you react to stress. If you know, you can change your behavior. Try to be more optimistic and assertive. See the glass as half full instead of half empty (and tell someone who disagrees that that’s the way you see things). Also, develop a strategy for handling stressful situations. This way, you won’t be caught off guard. 

Here are the helpful tips:

1.Add good nutrition and exercise

When your body is healthy, it can better stand up to stress. Keep your body healthy and strong with nutritious foods. A low-fat diet helps slow the progress of some stress-related diseases. Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. 

2.Laugh

Laughter may be one of the healthiest antidotes to stress. When you laugh or, just smile, the blood flow to the brain is increased. It is due to the release of endorphins which results a drop in the level of stress hormones. 

3.Be social

When you feel stress, your instincts tell you to isolate yourself. When you withdraw, you allow yourself to concentrate more on the problem, which makes your stress level greater. Call friends. Be around with young children, who can help make you forget yourself and your worries. Do volunteer work.

4.Do relieving activities 
Choose activities you'll enjoy. The type of activity that will relieve your stress best depends on your personality and lifestyle. If you usually do quiet activities, vigorous exercise may be best. If you are active, calming exercise may be better. Remember, one of the stress reducing benefits of exercise is that it's fun. Choose an activity you'll enjoy. 

5.Get enough sleep

Probably one of the most important things that you can do for yourself is get enough sleep. Sleep helps your body replenish and maintain cells, fortifies your immune system, filters out toxins, and relaxes your muscles. Develop a daily sleep routine that signals your mind that it is time to sleep (for example, take a warm bath before bed). Don’t drink alcohol or caffeine, and don’t smoke because these substances contain chemicals that stimulate your mind.

6.Learn to lean on friends and loved ones

This is one of the most important things, as keeping things bottled up can only cause more stress. Your friends, if they are true friends, will try to understand what you're going through, and will accompany that empathy with a sincere desire to help out if at all possible. Ask your friends for help. If you want something done but can't find the strength or the time to do it, it's okay to ask your friends or loved ones for help. Express your gratitude and extend the offer of help as a kind of reciprocity.

Our family picture

People’s tolerance of stress varies. A situation that is intolerable to one person may be stimulating to another. What you feel is determined not just by events and changes in the outside world, but how you perceive and respond to them.

The important point is that you can learn to recognise your own responses to stress and develop skills to deal with it well.

Be An Excellent Student

As your semester kicks into high gear and your schedule fills up, you college students may find your stress levels rising. You're probably counting the days until your next vacation when time is - once again - on your side. But did you ever stop to realize that the old "time is on your side" cliche holds true 24/7, whether you're in college student stress hell or living it up on summer break? 

If you want to calm college student stress, master time management and get out of overwhelm, even when school's in session, keep reading ...

1. Time is your GREATEST asset in life. You get to CHOOSE how you spend it.
I know - it's a hard concept to embrace because that means we all have to stop making excuses for college student stress. Instead of saying, "I can't exercise because I don't have time," we have to admit, "I choose not to exercise because I'm not prioritizing it into my schedule." We are all personally responsible for our lives and how we spend our time is a direct reflection of how well we embrace time management. 

When I experienced college student stress, I blamed others for my lack of time management. I believed that the only way I could lower my stress levels was if my professors stopped dishing out so much homework. Instead of learning better time management strategies and easing up on my own perfectionism, I made excuses. Every semester, I feel deeper into overwhelm until I let anxiety, depression, insomnia, and chronic college student stress usurp my life. 

Bottom line: Take control over your time right now and be calmer and happier for the rest of your life. You deserve it!

2. Time management means learning to say N-O.

"You can determine how you use your time or by default, let others plan it for you," says Beverly Coggins, professional organizer and author of the e-book, Three Steps to Time Management for the College Student. 

Coggins believes that in order to calm college student stress we need to have a grasp on our own passions and priorities so that we're in a stronger position to not be led around by the whims of others. "By determining your own passions and priorities, it gives you confidence to stay focused on where you want to go in life," she adds.

Bottom line: College students are supposed to be self-focused! You're not a selfish person if you choose to be empowered by your own goals. Plus, when you take care of yourself first, you'll have more energy to be there for your friends.

3. Skipping class = MORE stress.

Sorry to be the downer but skipping class really does screw with time management. It increases college student stress in the long run. Think about it: You miss class notes, class discussion, repetition of materials, interacting with your classmates and you're wasting money. If you calculate how much money you're spending per college class and then divide it by how many classes there are in a semester, you may be surprised to realize that you skipped out on a class that could very easily have exceeded one-to-several hundred dollars. Ugh! That's a week's worth of putting up with obnoxious customers at the mall or waiting tables at The Olive Garden. 

I've skipped my fair share of classes in high school and college and playing catch up sucks! Be honest: how much time do you spend trying to decipher your friend's shorthand when you borrow her class notes or tracking down your professor during office hours? 

Bottom line: Unless it's a true emergency, go to class and hit the snooze button on the weekends.

4. Sleep SAVES time.

According to Coggins, sleep should be the first thing that goes on our master schedules to calm college student stress. Why? "Sleep deprivation has the same affect on you as alcohol," says Coggins. "Your reaction time is slow, you can't think clearly, you gain weight, and you can get depressed." 

Think about how much time we waste napping during the day because we don't sleep enough at night. C' mon, how many of us have fallen asleep when we're sitting quietly ... like in class! Coggins advises that college students figure out ways to reduce interruptions to sleep like investing in earplugs, a fan, a sleeping mask, or a note on your door. 

Bottom line: Don't sacrifice sleep because sleep deprivation is the true time waster and it definitely makes us more susceptible to college student stress.

5. Procrastinators CAN master time management.

Nearly two-thirds of students say they've procrastinated so much that it affected their performance on an exam, paper, or course grade, according to a February 2007 College Health Services survey. Coggins suggests that college students take advantage of those first few weeks of the semester when there is little pressure, to keep up with assignments to calm college student stress. 

Use the following tips to escape procrastination mode and lessen college student stress:

• Break large tasks up into bite-sized pieces and estimate how much time each piece will take. Working backwards from your deadline, schedule in each piece of your task.
• Plan in breaks. Every 45 minutes take a 15-minute break. Do something totally different that relaxes you or invigorates you - take a walk, listen to music, whatever refreshes you and reduces your college student stress.
• Know when your peak energy time is. If you are a morning person, don't attempt overwhelming tasks at night and vice versa.
• Study with a friend. Just make sure you choose friends that won't help you procrastinate!

Listen, Listen, Listen!

One of the first major media issues in 2013 to take Malaysia by storm started off as a harmless video that covered a student forum at Universiti Utara Malaysia (UUM). A small, albeit controversial verbal exchange between a guest speaker, Sharifah Zohra Jabeen of a feminist group Suara Wanita 1Malaysia (SW1M) and a university student, K.S. Bawani, caught the attention of many Malaysians, particularly on social media. The keyword that was very significant was the repeated word that had made Sharifah so targeted and famous. Well, I am going to bring your attention to another view where “Listen, Listen, Listen” had been used quite a lot.

Listen, Listen, listen is really not rare. Many people have used it, including myself when I wanted to grab someone’s attention or be assertive to butt in and request the undivided attention of that person to listen to what we had to speak. Once again, this article has no reference or explanation to the Bawani and Sharifah incident. Getting people to listen to you has always been in demand. Demanding someone to listen to you has never been in demand.

Ever feel as if you’re speaking with the mute button on? Here’s how to get people to listen :-

1. Getting them to listen

Learn to engage with a better question. When you’re trying to be helpful, do others avoid making eye contact with you? Do they interrupt or show little interest in your point of view? You may be coming across as a know-it-all, or your advice could sound like criticism, eventually people may stop listening to your ideas altogether. Next time you have a suggestion, try asking, “Would you like to know what I think?” Or “I have a different perspective—would you like to hear it?”

Learn to engage and interact with their preferred communication modality. While you’re talking, do people check their iPhone or make you feel like you’re wasting their time? You may be losing your audience due to a discrepancy in how the interact to you in their primary sensors.

Majority people are visual, so show them rather than talk; the there are those who rather listen to what you have to say, so make sure you have a good vocal variety as you speak ‘interestingly’ to them; and finally, the Kinestatic types who are very ‘touch and feel’, so make sure you have a good emotion, empathy, heartfelt approach in getting them to ‘feel’ your communication.

2. Tell them you need their ears for a moment

You need to let people know that you just want to vent for a few minutes about what’s going on,”. Most women always want man to “Listen”. What they mainly want them to tell him that he doesn’t have to say or do anything about it. That releases him from assuming that he must offer a solution. Here is a great tip for men when you listen to a woman speak. Keep good pleasant eye contact and interest in what she says.

Acknowledge her with agreeing sounds like “mmm”, “yeah” and “really’ or “what then”. Never offer to give a solution unless she asks it. Very soon, she is going to enjoying your company and feels comfortable with you.

3. Show interest to them

No matter what, you can’t go wrong by showing interest in what other people say and making them feel important. In other words, the better you listen, the more you’ll be listened to. When you truly listen to someone i.e. when you offer them your undivided focus, summarize their main points to make sure you’re tracking, ask curiosity-based questions to find out more; then you’re demonstrating openness and respect in a powerful way.

Most people automatically want to hear what someone who seems interested in them might have to say. It doesn’t always work (some people are truly self-involved), but it usually does.  This is a note to parents that this often has good results even with teenagers.

4. Observe and read the room

If you’re talking to someone or to a group, and they’re not giving you their attention (surreptitiously looking at their phones, doodling, looking out the window, writing emails), they’re not listening to you. Just like above, you talking more is probably not going to help.  Stop talking.  Ask a question; find out what they’re interested in hearing.

Even if you’re the most compelling speaker in the world, people won’t listen to you if they’re not interested in your topic. The depth of your passion for ‘air plants’ is not going to engage your vegan friends no matter how interesting you sound. I don’t care how articulate you are.

To boil it down: if you want people to listen to you, first listen to them. And when you do talk, focus on topics they find interesting, and paint a vivid picture – use clear, compelling words and images. Simple advice but simple doesn’t mean easy. I’d love to hear experiences you’ve had in trying to get people to listen to you.  What’s worked for you and what hasn’t? So seek to listen.

The video, which has called attention to the situation of freedom of speech in Malaysia

“Listening actively means you acknowledge what you heard and act accordingly" - Betsy Sanders

How to Climb Mount Kinabalu?

Standing majestically at 4,095 Meters (13,435 feet), Mount Kinabalu is the highest mountain of Malaysia. Mt. Kinabalu derives its name from the Kadazan word, Aki Nabalu, meaning ‘the revered place of the dead’. It is one of the most conquerable peaks in the world. Mount Kinabalu’s specialty lies in its location at a renowned World Heritage Site – Kinabalu Park. Nature lovers will be delighted to be able to witness the many variations of flora and fauna that are to be found on the mountain at different altitudes.

1. The Best Time to climb Mt. Kinabalu is between March and August, which are the dry seasons of Sabah. The peak season is Apr to Jun.
2. You can climb in other months, but try to avoid Dec and Jan, which are the wettest months, due to the North-East Monsoon
3. Laban Rata Rest House is the accommodation 2.72 KM before the summit of Mt. Kinabalu. Most climbers overnight here before conquering Mt. Kinabalu in next morning.
4. Laban Rata Rest House is the only heated unit, and non heated unit consists of Gunting Lagadan Hut, Panar Laban Hut and Waras Hut.
5. If you are not allowed to climb Mt. Kinabalu in bad weather, there is No Refund.

How to Book a Climb Package

Booking the Accommodation at Laban Rata is the FIRST step. You can’t climb Mt. Kinabalu if you haven’t reserved any room on the mountain (Laban Rata).A few important things to note:

1. The accommodation is always fully booked, so you must book at least 6 months in advance.
2. Conquering Mt. Kinabalu requires only 2 days 1 night.
3. However, to maximize profit, Sutera Sanctuary Lodges (management of accommodation) usually sells you 3-day-2-night accommodation (with 1 extra night at Kinabalu Park, foothill of Mt. Kinabalu).
4. 2-day-1-night accommodation package is available, but only open 30 days before the climbing date.
5. Gunting Lagadan Hut, Panar Laban Hut and Waras Hut are next to Laban Rata, and these non-heated accommodations are Cheaper (but no hot shower).
6. All accommodation package is inclusive of full meals.

There are 3 ways to book the climb package:

1. Book with Travel Agent

If you can afford, just book the tour package with licensed tour agents. Though you will see a high markup of price than I mentioned earlier, they will take care of everything, from transportation, registration, to the end of climb. This is the Best option, if you climb in big group, which can get better discount.

2. Book with Sutera Sanctuary Lodges (SSL)

Tel: +60 88 308 914 / 308 915 / 308 916
Website: www.suterasanctuarylodges.com.my
Address: Lot G15, Ground Floor, Wisma Sabah, 88000, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia. (see location map)
Business Hours: 9am-6pm (Mon-Fri), 9am-4pm (Sat), close on Sun & Public Holiday

SSL is the management of accommodation in Kinabalu Park and Laban Rata. For International Tourists, you can book the room online. Or you can contact them at:

E-mail: info@suterasanctuarylodges.com.my

3. Sabah Parks (for Sabahans)

To get Sabahan rate, you must book the accommodation directly with Sabah Parks. Though the room rate for Sabahan is the cheapest, only 25 beds are reserved for Sabahans daily. You only need to book 1-night accommodation on the mountain.

Itinerary of the Climb

Below is a rundown of the 3-day-2-night climbing tour in brief:

Day 1
Check-in to overnight at Kinabalu Park (see location map), which is 88 KM away from Kota Kinabalu (KK). The extra night helps your body to adapt to the height so you will be less vulnerable to Altitude Sickness (acute mountain sickness) in the climb next day.

Day 2
9am: Register and pay fees (climb permit, insurance, guide, etc.) to Sabah Parks at Kinabalu Park HQ. Collect your name tag (climb permit) and meet your guide and porter (if hired). Be there before 10:30am or they won’t allow you to climb.9:30am: Transfer to Timpohon Gate, the starting point of the climb.10am: Start of Climb!4pm: Reach Laban Rata Rest House. Usually it takes 6 to 8 hours, depend on your fitness.- Overnight at Laban Rata (or other huts)

Day 3
(The park may not allow you to climb in very bad weather)
6am: Reaching the summit of Mt. Kinabalu
7am: Descending to Laban Rata
10am: Check-out and descend to Kinabalu Park
1:30pm: Back to KK

2am: Gather and having breakfast at Laban Rata, then head to the summit.

Below is the trail map to the summit of Mt. Kinabalu.

Photo Walkthrough

Below are the photo walkthrough of the 2-day climb in chronological order.

Day 1: Climbing to Laban Rata

The standard trail starts from the Timpohon Gate (1,800m; 5,906 ft) which is about 4KM away from the Kinabalu Park Headquarters. Before reaching Laban Rata (3,273m; 10,738 ft), climbers will encounter a series of trail shelters (pondok)—Pondok Kandis, Pondok Ubah, Pondok Lowii, Layang-Layang, Pondok Villosa, and Pondok Paka. The climb from Timpohon Gate to Laban Rata normally takes 6 to 8 hours (for 6 KM).

Pic: Timpohon Gate. You can buy basic supply such as snacks, drink and raincoat here.

Pic: There are signages and markers every 0.5 or 1KM along the trail, to show how far you go.

The trail is clear and in moderate steepness most of the time. You will feel like walking on endless staircase than climbing. Just go slow and enjoy the scenic cloud forest (montane forest).

Pic: after 4 KM, pay attention to your left, you will see many big and bright-color Villosa pitcher plant in the shrubs. This species is endemic to Kinabalu Park of Sabah.

Along the trails, be sure to keep your eyes open for the plenteous interesting vegetation to check out. The unique ecology is what makes Kinabalu Park the UNESCO World Heritage Site, not just the Mt. Kinabalu.

Pic: you will see the yellow path. These yellow rocks are 40-million-year-oldultrabasic or ultramafic rocks, and it is an interesting geology feature of Kinabalu Park.

Pic: Ultramafic forest of Kinabalu Park.

Very few plant can adapt to the poor nutrients of ultrabasic soil, that’s why most vegetation in this area looks odd, as if you enter another planet.

Pic: Hooray! Laban Rata! You are now 3,272 metres above sea level. This is the accommodation where most climbers spend a night.

Pic: the restaurant of Laban Rata where you claim your meals. You better reach Laban Rata before the restaurant closes at 7:30pm.

The scenery at Laban Rata is fantastic! Just enjoy the view with a cup of hot coffee in your hand. The dense cloud is under your feet.

Pic: without heater, our room were freezing cold…

There are overnight accommodations provided for climbers on the mountain (Laban Rata Rest House, Gunting Lagadan Hut, and Waras Hut). The rooms are humbly decorated but are comfortably equipped thick blankets, bunk beds, as well as clean drinking water.

Good Night! Sleep earlier because you need to wake up very early next day.

“Though perhaps not the highest mountain in the world, it is of immense height” (captain Alexander Dalrymple, 1769)

Day 2: Conquer Mt. Kinabalu

The climb to the summit resumes at 2am the next morning. The climb from Laban Rata to the summit normally takes 4 to 5 hours. To cut down weight, you leave unnecessary stuffs in Laban Rata. There is no water point to the summit. Carrying 600ML is quite enough as you won’t feel really thirsty under cold temperature.

The climb will start with steep ascend for more than an hour. Then you will come to a section which is the most challenging part and requires you to hold onto a rope to move side way along a steep slope in the dark. Just proceed slowly and cautiously.

Pic: the sub alpine vegetation of high altitude

Pic: The Sayat-Sayat checkpoint. You need to register here so you can earn the certificate.

Pic: the nice view at 7th KM, where you can see Kota Belud town.

Pic: South Peak, the most photogenic peak of Mt. Kinabalu.

Pic: St John Peak, the 2nd highest peak (4090.7M). See the face in the peak?

Pic: The last peak to conquer, Low’s Peak. The summit is on its tip. A daunting view to tired climbers..

Pic: Finally, the Summit! 50,000 climbers leaves their footsteps here annually. Despite the hardship, none of them shows a face of regret on the summit. You have only an hour to enjoy the moment of your sweet victory, as the guide will ask you to leave before 8am, because the mountain will be covered in dense fog shortly.

Bonus: If you reach the summit before 6am, you will be rewarded by the beautiful sunrise view on the highest mountain of Borneo.

More Tips and Advices

1. Pack Light. Don’t carry more than 6 Kg of weight for the climb. Those bringing huge backpacks can hire porters (for extra fee) to carry their bags for them.
2. The climate is cool with an average temperature range of 15°C to 24°C (59°F to 75°F) at the Kinabalu Park Headquarters and 6°C to 10°C (42°F to 50°F) on the mountain. Climbers are recommended to wear breathable cotton clothing and comfortable pair of hiking boots.
3. Climbers are also reminded to be ready with torch lights, raincoats and warm clothes in case it rains and the temperature drops.
4. Descending stresses your knee and muscle more than ascending. Try to descend slowly to avoid serious joint and muscle pain later.
5. Trail can be slippery after rain. Wear comfortable trekking or hiking shoes with good grip (best if it’s waterproof).
6. Stay with your group and Mountain Guide at all times. Never walk off trail.
7. Don’t climb if you have ailments such as asthma, hypertension, diabetes, heart disease and other sickness that severely affects your fitness.
8. Always book the tour with licensed tour agent. There have been cases tourists cheated by unlicensed agents.

Things to Bring

• Passport / MyKad (for registration)
• Proof of Accommodation Booking
• Drinking Water (in Refillable 1 Litre water bottle)
• LED Headlamp (head torch)
• Energy Bars / Chocolate Bars
• Light Backpack (best if come with raincover)
• Raincoat / Poncho (Murphy’s Law says it’ll rain if you don’t bring one)
• Toiletries (tissue paper, soap, toothbrush, toothpaste)
• Warm Clothing (Wind breaker, Fleece)
• Extra clothing and socks
• Towel
• Cash
• Camera with spare Battery
• Medication such as painkiller, headache or altitude sickness tablet
• Plastic bags: to store rubbish and soil clothing
• Optional: hand gloves, walking pole, sunblock lotion, sunglass

It can be a wonderful journey and a new exploration to people that go with green and I hope you find this guide useful.